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Instajournal: The out-of-towners

Once French Quarter Fest hits, so too does tourist fest. For the next couple months, curious, out-of-town souls will trek the cityscape. NolaVie recently ran a list of comments you'd never hear a true New Orleanian say. But what about the foreigners? What would you see a NOLA out-of-towner do?

Don’t get me wrong -- we love having them here. However, as much as out-of-towners may enjoy brunching Elizabeth's, boozing at Cooter's and baring it all at the Country Club, if you're a local, you can always spot 'em.

You know you've spotted a New Orleans tourist when:

Subject doesn’t realize that NOLA “1 o’clock” actually translates to “when I feel like showing up o'clock.”

t10

 

Subject hops on horse and carriage. Asks for route map.

t8

 

Subject's dress facilitates amoeba functions.

t2

 

Those functions are tie-dyed.

etc phish

 

Subject’s drinks resemble a bag of Skittles.

t4

 

Selfies at the French Market.

t1

Selfies at Jackson Square.

t12

 

Subject substitutes a fish bowl for a go-cup.

t6

 

Subject needs a sign that reads “big ass beers” to affirm that its beer is, in fact, big.

t7

 

One word: Ponchos.

barkus7

 

Subject reenacts Noah's Arc via segway.

t11

Or pedicab caravan.

t15

Subject cannot handle day drinking. Not. At. All.

t9

Chelsea Lee is managing editor at NolaVie. Email comments to her at [email protected]