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Instajournal: Keep out

“For Rent” signs that advertise an apartment’s ghost-free status, paragraph-long store hours that might as well read “If we’re here, we’re here,” “Buy one drink for the price of two and get the second free” bar offers. Like its residents, New Orleans’ signage tends to be eccentric, weird, and, at times, downright nonsensical. And the postings for all things involving trespassing are, accordingly, no exception to the quirky trend.

Our city's version of "Keep Out" signs are not only entreatingly specific, but also indicative of the respective property owner's subliminal messages to passersby. Why stop with prohibiting loitering when you can demand said loiterers sit where they pay rent, right?

“No Parking,” “Private Property,” and “No Loitering," apparently, are not specific enough...

sign13

 

Subtext: If you must trespass, please steal the incessant yapper.

parking4

 

Subtext: "No, you cannot use our bathroom."

 sign14

 

Subtext: If the dog doesn’t stop you the barbed wire and broken bottles should.

 

sign8

Subtext: Abbreviates “are” “r,” “you” “u,” and generally misspellz and kreates wordz for funsies.

 

sign9

Subtext: Received an email from the misspeller. Friendship over.

 sign12

 

Subtext: Welcome to Crazy Town.

beware artist

 

Subtext: Wears a fedora.

 

sign3

Subtext: “I recently invested in Rosetta Stone.”

 sign15

 

Subtext: The dog is a teacup Yorkie who wears argyle sweater vests and rides in a purse.

 

sign 11

Subtext: “I am redundant. And also redundant.”

Chelsea Lee is managing editor at NolaVie. Email comments to her at [email protected]